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Holy crap, I’m 30

The thing that strikes me most about being 30 is that I’ve always somehow associated it with formally becoming an adult. You know, like one of those “old” and “mature” people. Well, I’m not. Sure, I’ve got a decent head on my shoulders and I’m well aware of the responsibilities of adulthood. I make the minimal effort necessary to keep up the impression that I’m on top of things, but really… I’m still a kid at heart.

I don’t see how that could be a bad thing. I still like video games and Magic: The Gathering and I’ll occassionally stroll down the toy aisle and gaze at the latest lego sets and transformer toys (come on… they’re cool!). I still like fart jokes and I giggle at sight gags and bad puns. Poopie is still one of my favorite words.

So while I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m getting older, I’ve decided that I’m not yet “old”. If I have my way, I never will be. So bring on the gray hairs, the back pains, and the arthritis. Bring on the enlarged prostate, high cholesterol, and impotence*. I’ll still giggle like a school boy at things like watching Peter Griffith and Michael Moore in a farting contest.

Then there’s the expectations. Everyone has a certain list of goals they’d like to accomplish by the time they’re 30. Sure, some of them are unrealistic… but now’s a good a time as any to take stock.

  • Own a nice house – check
  • Own a nice car – check
  • Have a good job – Yep (kinda a prerequisite for the first two items)
  • Have a wonderful wife – Uh, no… but I have dated some wonderful women in my time so I know that this goal isn’t pie in the sky. Besides, I’m a well-grounded modestly attractive guy with GOALS. Couldn’t be that hard, right?
  • Have one or two great kids – The wife is a prerequisite for this one. I’m a firm believer in planning your parenthood (if at all possible). Would I make a good dad? I sure hope so…
  • Be a super-famous rockstar, actor, writer, artist, etc etc… – Uh, definite no. I turned out basically as your average joe. This is probably the hardest thing for me to cope with because turning 30 basically slams the door on any reasonable possibility of this coming true. Sure, it’s not all over but it sure feels like it. I take some solace in the fact that this is a common experience for most people. Everyone wants to be famous, but only a few ever get to be. Besides, if it was something I truly wanted, I would’ve been motivated enough to go out and get it. I have only myself to blame.

Well, 3 out of 6 aint bad. And 2 of the remaining 3 are easily within my grasp. So I guess I’ve got a lot to be thankful for and plenty to look forward to. Turning 30 sure doesn’t feel like the end-all be-all ultimatum on super-success that I made it out to be when I was younger. In fact… it feels like just another day.

 

*Ok, I was actually kidding about the impotence thing. I could really do with out that. Seriously.

8 Responses to “Holy crap, I’m 30”

  1. on 15 Feb 2007 at 3:58 pm Suzanne

    Regarding: “I’m still a kid at heart.” Stay that way! And don’t worry about the rest. At more than double your age, I have **NONE** of these things you list: gray hairs, the back pains, and the arthritis…the enlarged prostate, high cholesterol, and impotence. [Of course, it would be mighty strange for me to have several of them! :-)] Love you, Mike!

  2. on 15 Feb 2007 at 4:40 pm Mom

    Most of us are still kids at heart. We work so we can have the money to play. You are not old until you stop being a kid. I’ve never been famous, but I think it is probably overrated. Being famous costs you the freedom that comes with anonymity. You are still young and have the best of life ahead of you.
    I’m proud of you and I love you.

  3. on 15 Feb 2007 at 4:52 pm Dad

    Well, son, you finally caught up to half my age. Don’t worry about turning 30. It just gets better from there.

    Love…

  4. on 15 Feb 2007 at 6:38 pm Rob

    My stomach can’t handle another milestone birthday. Sushi is “not my bag baby” :-)

  5. on 15 Feb 2007 at 9:26 pm Mike

    Ha ha, Rob you’re my hero. I applaud your willingness to try something new, even if you ended up not liking it. And hey, you finished your plate, so you still qualified for dessert. Raw fish ice cream!
    (Rob and the gang at work took me out to lunch for my birthday. They said, “Pick the place! Any place!” I said, “Sushi!” It was educational (for them) and entertaining (for me)).

  6. on 15 Feb 2007 at 9:28 pm Jessica

    I dont wanna grow up either! Toys R Us Forever!!!!

  7. on 16 Feb 2007 at 9:15 am Carolyn

    Well, Happy Birthday Mike. Your Mom sent along your thoughts about travel in 2008. Glad us “old folks” are such fun. How about Greece?

  8. on 16 Feb 2007 at 2:41 pm Commandant Lassard

    Congrats. You are one step closer to the day when your sack touches the toilet water. Gravity sucks.

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